Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Baby School Dropout

The modus operandi for my pregnancy has been peace, and I've run (not walked) away from things that have caused stress. And it's worked for me. Sure, now that I'm approaching beach ball proportions, I'm realizing I should own a bottle or diaper or something. But I've just had this overwhelming feeling that everything will be ok. So I have chosen not to worry, well about basically anything.

That all changed when I went to childbirth class.

I don't know who these classes are for, but I've given it some thought:

  • People who are worried sick, so the "worst case scenarios" they present are actually comforting
  • People who are under the impression that they are still in control, even when giving birth
  • People who are mentally challenged (I mean, I'm pretty sure I KNOW how to breathe already)

So to cut to the chase, I made it through to the potty break for the first class. Then I bolted and didn't look back. Poor Kirk (the saint) stayed till the bitter end, and I picked him up after. Besides the not-funny intro joke (you'd better take naps now, since it will be the last you take for 20 years, ha ha), I learned everything I needed to know in the first 5 minutes.

"When your contractions are 5-7 minutes apart for over an hour, call your doctor and go to the hospital." Let's see, maybe I should chill out at home beyond that? Nah, I think I'll head on over to check things out. Got it.

At the second class, I got some much-needed solitaire playing time in. And instead of the third class, we're going to Chili's with the neighbors. My neighbor Matt assures me that he'll tell the kid we were far too cool to waste brain cells on those classes.

So I'm back into peace mode. I'm getting ready for the whole family to descend next week (since I can no longer travel). I have takeout menus, and I'm not afraid to use them! Peace be to everyone this holiday season!

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